Common Fears About Starting Sex Therapy — And Why They’re Completely Normal
As a sex therapist, Susie understands that starting sex therapy can feel like a big step. So big, in fact, that when problems or issues arise, couples typically delay years before seeking help. Sadly, a lot of unnecessary hurt and damage can build during that time.
It’s natural to worry about what it will be like. “Will I be judged? Will the therapist think my concerns are too strange?” Thoughts like these, and more, are common. In fact, most clients feel some nervousness before their first session.
Below is a friendly guide to some common fears — and some facts about sex therapy with Susie that might help.
Fear of Judgment or Shame
- “What if I’m abnormal?” Many people fear their desires, concerns, or challenges are unusual. As an experienced therapist, Susie has heard a wide range of experiences. If there is something requiring a more complex approach, with clients’ permission, she will call on additional support.
- Fear of being judged. Some folks worry their sexual history, preferences, or values will be criticized. Sex therapy is a non-judgmental space where your beliefs and boundaries are respected.
- Impact on identity. It’s common to worry that talking about sexual difficulties might affect how you see yourself. Therapy aims to support your confidence, not diminish it.
Misunderstandings About What Happens in Therapy
- No nudity or physical exams. Sex therapy with Susie is talk-based. You stay fully clothed, and there is no touching, demonstrations, or physical assessments.
- No pressure to try anything uncomfortable. Susie will not suggest extreme or unconventional activities. All recommendations are tailored to your comfort level and values.
- A normal, welcoming office. Sessions take place in a typical counselling room — warm, private, and safe.
Feeling Vulnerable or Exposed
- Talking to a stranger about intimate topics. This can feel intimidating at first. Susie supports you to move at your pace and encourages youto feel safe before diving into deeper conversations.
- Fear of being pushed to reveal too much. You choose what you share and when. You won’t be forced to disclose anything before you’re ready. That said, therapy works best when there is an open and honest engagement between client and therapist.
- Concerns about past trauma. If you’ve experienced sexual trauma, it’s natural to worry about revisiting painful memories. Susie is a Level Two accredited trauma therapist, trained to help you navigate this gently and with care.
Relationship-Related Fears
- Worrying your partner won’t want to participate. Many couples start with one partner feeling hesitant. Susie tries to create a respectful and supportive environment for both people.
- Fear the therapist will “take sides.” A couple’s sex therapist’s role is to support the relationship, not blame or judge either partner.
- Dealing with mistakes. Sometimes, therapy uncovers some painful missteps by one or other of the partners. Susie is experienced in managing the emotions expressed by the parties in the process of healing.
- Fear of failure. Some worry that, if therapy doesn’t “fix” things immediately, the relationship is doomed. Therapy is a human process. It takes time to identify, clarify and work on issues that may have taken years to develop. Seeking help is already a sign of strength and commitment.
Practical Concerns
- Cost and time. It’s normal to wonder how long therapy will take or whether it’s worth the investment. Many people find that even a few sessions can create meaningful change.
- Privacy of records. Therapists take confidentiality seriously. Your personal information and session details are protected, and only shared under certain strict legal conditions.
